Saturday, June 8, 2024



One day long ago, an avalanche of feelings were released and soared like a firestorm throughout my entire being.

What caused it?  Rather, who caused it?  Kim. The guy’s name was Kim.  He was my cherished friend. 

The question still remains today:  was that feeling love, lust, infatuation, or spiritual?  ….I’ll never know. 

Even after nearly 40 years, I still acutely recollect that indestructible emotion that I experienced with Kim one day on a New Year's Eve get-away to Palm Springs. Before I explain that moment of bond and bliss – and eventually hurt – allow me to provide the backstory, telling you about Kim. 

It was the mid-80s, Los Angeles. A couple years prior, the city hosted the Summer Olympics; pin-up boy and film icon, Rock Hudson had just died of AIDS; fear was rampant with the world pandemic, begging the questions: How do I get infected…through touch, through swimming in a pool with an infected person, through sipping a glass that an infected person drank from?  Can I get it from a water fountain?  It was torture, and stigma, unfortunately, abounded.  It. Was. Pure. Hell. 

In the 80s one could view on Saturday morning’s television, PeeWee’s Playhouse, or slip in a VHS tape of trendsetter Jane Fonda’s much-in-demand high energy aerobics, or if you want a  low impact workout, play the wild and wonderful Richard Simmons directly in your own living room – (who paid me for sex, but that’s another story). The home viewing revolution had begun! 

And to transport you even more into the era, on the car radio you might hear songs from the newly-released Linda Ronstadt album, “What's New.”  This album of American Standards was so ultra-successful that, thank heaven, Linda cut two more matching ones. Also on the airwaves you would hear such singles as  Madonna’s, “Like A Virgin,” Whitney’s, “Saving All My Love For You,” Tina Turner’s, “Private Dancer,” and “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” by the lilting Cyndi Lauper. 

There, hopefully I’ve conquered the task of delivering you back in time, providing an engaging flavor of what my environment was like having a crush on Kim. 

At the time, Kim was in his mid-20s, and a district manager of a fast food chain. He was partnered with an actor named Steve. 

I was in my early 30s, and had recently decided to return to  college to receive my masters in counseling. I was partnered with Mark, who was a New York lawyer and an aspiring actor (and at times, a standup).  Mark and I had been together for about 3-4 years then, and Kim and Steve had recently met.  

Initially, Steve was a friend to me and Mark.  At one point Steve flew back home to Boston, met Kim, they fell for each other, and Kim soon moved out to The City of Angels.   

When Steve introduced us, Kim and I took to one another quickly.  It was easy to do as Kim was warm, open, authentic, and had an upbeat attitude.  He was a bit shy, which made him even more attractive.  

We soon found we had stuff in common:  we both loved boy butts, which was the #1 attraction for us in other guys; we loved reflexology performed on our feet; and we liked to take travel.  Several times, Kim and I took day trips to San Diego (one journey was to see Adele, a psychic) and to the enchanted town of Solvang, California.  We also indulged in full body massages on a semi-regular basis to the Finland Baths in Sherman Oaks in the San Fernando Valley.  

He and I loved our feet massaged so much that when we were at each other’s homes, while Steve and Mark were doing their own thing, Kim and I would flop on the couch and rub each other’s feet.  Man, that felt so delicious!

When the four of us went to Palm Springs for the holidays, Kim and I were palsy-walsy for a couple of years. The evening before 

that insatiable craving bombarded me, we rang in New Year’s Eve at Daddy Warbuck’s Gay Night Club in Cathedral City. We all danced up a sweat and by midnight most of us were hugging and kissing, the usual flare for this night, huh? I recall Kim and I gave each other a firm extended hug. 

The next afternoon the four of us decided to hike through the dense foliage of Palm Canyon, located on an Indian Reservation. The scenic trails include trickling clear streams that run the length of mile-high palm trees and granite boulders. There’s also luscious cascading waterfalls.  It’s a rather romantic and private environment.

Kim and I were lagging behind the others.  Me leading the front, we stepped on rocks to cross over the water when his foot slipped a bit and he was balancing on the edge of a stone.  He grabbed my forearm and said, “Whoa….”  I smiled, looking back at him and he greeted me with his trademark radiant grin.   

I looked into his teal colored puppy eyes as he shot back sparkling twinkles into my baby blues. There’s a moment of intense silence and frozen-in-time aura.  It was everything I could do to restrain myself from locking lips with him. Primal urges washed over me. I yearned for his touch.  I yearned for his tongue.

My heart pounded several seismic blows while passion surged through my veins. I became flushed with a calm restlessness. For those few seconds, I was possessed by an other-worldly spirit. It felt good. It felt scary. 

We then joined up with the others, and continued hiking.  

The days and years that followed were met with more intensity, but less and less of being with one another. We each became busy with our own lives.  

The last time I saw Kim was in the early 90s. I was with two friends, and we were on our way to see a film at The Plitt Century Plaza Cinema in the ABC Entertainment Center in Century City.  Kim was walking toward the fast-food restaurant he was managing, which was located in this open air mall.

I called from afar and began to walk toward him. No acknowledgement. Is he trying to avoid me?  Nearing him, I speak up.   It was as if he was a deer caught in headlights, frozen in the sudden encounter, guilt exuding out of his baby-faced pores.  It was awkward but I absolutely ignored it. We exchanged a brisk soulless greeting.  

I introduced him to my friends then inquired if he was going to attend my Master’s degree graduation party, which he had been invited to weeks before. He confirmed his attendance but then added, “I’ll try. Can’t promise, Dann.”  I said, “Oh it’d really be nice to have you there.”  He reiterated in a low unkind tone, “I’ll try.” Robotically we hugged, and Kim swiftly dashed. Couldn’t get away fast enough. I was left with rejection, disappointment, and isolation. Let me tell you, it was a long walk to the movie theatre that day. 

Kim never appeared at my graduation party – and that was four decades ago. 

That piercing sensation that I felt in the desert still haunts me today. My “relationship” with Kim has lasted all these years, and what a pair we make, don’t we?!   

What’s appropriate here, I believe is Cyndi Lauper’s iconic ballad,  

 “Time After Time:”


If you're lost you can look and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting

Time after time

Many opportune times when Kim and I were together, I nearly uttered those 3 little words: I… love… you. But that confession never passed my lips.

My god Kim, what you still do to me!  I haven’t told a soul all these years, not even you…..  

…until now.


Thursday, June 6, 2024


Wow, so I really DID have a 
beautiful ass back in the day!
What happened??!!!



She DOES love you!




Sunday, June 2, 2024




I could never figure out why people want to have babies.  Why would you want to bring someone into this hideous world of poverty, homelessness, wars, hurt, disappointment, suffering, pain, depression, and so on??

I don't get it.   My gawd!

We have enough children in the world.  ADOPT THEM!  We have TOO MANY unwanted kids and TOO MANY people roaming this earth. 

As my heterosexual girlfriend, who just turned 90 recently, has said,
"Having a child is a very selfish act."  I find it egotistical and hedonistic.  ...and kids will NOT make your marriage better!  What folklore THAT IS.   

Since I brought THAT up:  Why does anyone want to get married??  What's the point?  It's expensive and if it ends in divorce, which is a good chance it will, it's HIGHLY expensive.  STOP IT!  Have a ceremony, but why do you need a marriage license??   It's all society bullshit myth.  They hype it up because it all stems from wanting to make more money.  As we know, money is the root of it all!


Monday, May 20, 2024

Saturday, April 27, 2024



Here's Some Of What 

I've Discovered On 

My Adventure In Aging:

Change usually brings complications, which as I get older, I don't want to deal with.  I'd rather put up with something that bothers me that change to a new way of doing it.   (Now I understand you, Grandma Dulin!)  And this Hi Tech stuff...FORGET IT.  

I always wondered why most older people just keeping talking and talking -- sometimes interesting, sometimes really boring.  I find as I grow older I DO talk more and what to tell others about my life and what I am going through.   It's not pretty, but hey, there it is.   

I find that I cannot plan on too many things because on the day of the date, I MAY not FEEL up to doing such.

I find that I am agitated more by the so-called simple problems of life, ie., the toothpaste doesn't come out properly; I can't fit precisely into the legs of my long pants.  I now have to sit down and thread my hand through the pant leg (so my toes don't get caught) and finally put my leg into the pants!  What a hassle.

I am more impatient and don't put up with other people's stupidly or shit.  

I have a lower opinion of people as I grow toward a 100 years old.  I think I used to put most people on a pedestal.  I don't do that anymore.  I find more and more a high percentage of people are really just morons.

I don't understand the attraction to the younger gen's singers:  Beyonce, Adele, Dua Lipa, Rihanna, Arianna Grande, Miley Cycrus, Billie Ellish, etc.  OMIGOSH...and even Taylor Swift.  What is the attraction??  I do NOT get it.  None of these singers do ANYTHING for me.  Give me Janis Ian, Bette Midler, Barbra Streisand, Linda Ronstadt, etc.  Even CHER!!!!

I don't want to RUSH anymore.  Allow me to take it SLOW -- with anything.   What's the hurry Murray?!

Many long time friends have petered out and that is disappointing. People just seem to CHANGE as they grow older  -- hormones, metabolism, thoughts, beliefs, ideas, physicalities, etc.  One went from a Jew to a Jesus Freak -- WHAAAT????!   Another just began "ghosting" -- which seems VERY common nowadays.  And some just turn DUMB.   It's sort of weird and Twilight-Zone-ish. be honest, I have changed to.  And I think with growing-older-changes comes, well, change.  And sometimes that is parting ways with old time friends.  It's okay. 

Thursday, April 11, 2024



May he NOT rest in peace.

Saturday, March 30, 2024

Friday, March 22, 2024



Did you ever wanna drill your coach?

Well, in this episode entitled,
--  "Drilling The Coach"  --
Danny gets the chance to do just that.
Oh, boy, will you learn a lot!


Friday, February 16, 2024


 How STUPID can one man be? 

MY GAWD . . . 

Total Moron.  
It'd be funny if he weren't so DANGEROUS


 The ASSHOLE could slice someone's neck on camera, and ......

he would never admit he did it!

The man's a WORM  -- 

(well, there's many adjectives to

 describe this BOOB)

But in the end, he WILL get caught 

and brought down to size.  

Justice and Karma will prevail and 

bite him in that 

Big Fat Ass of his!

Thursday, February 15, 2024


 There is no more USA

Because there's no more "U" -- 

We are not UNITED!

Sunday, February 11, 2024


 Well . . . .That's Life.

Unbelievable how prices just keep rising and rising, especially groceries.  


Friday, January 26, 2024





Just getting out of bed in the morning is an accomplishment.  Indeed.

For example, dealing with every day life, as in brushing teeth, eating healthy, keeping clean, dealing with banks, dealing with computer, dealing with people, dealing with traffic, putting creams on face, going to doctor appointments, dealing with skyrocketing gas and grocery prices, escalation of rents and real estate, and it goes on and on and on and on.

I see how at the end of one's life, death is welcome.  Life is exhausting. 


Tuesday, January 9, 2024



Can someone already




Trump . . . and just put 

him out of his misery???!!




Sunday, January 7, 2024



What is it that as we age, we all seem to 

meld into looking like each other.  

Old people look . . . . ALIKE!

WHAT IS IT????!!