Saturday, December 30, 2023




That I got to experience ONE GREAT FEELING BEYOND BELIEF in my life, thanks to my first crush, Kirk Pemperton.  

It was closing night of MAN OF LA MANCHA at Ohio State University and a rap party ws being held at the director's campus home. At the end of the evening, Kirk slowly came on to me. (My fiance, Debby, had left earlier due to working early the next day.)   I was nervous as hell when he approached me in his suave sexy way.  

I felt I was swirling above the ground and was being swept off to the heavens, with my beautiful armored knight on his white horse.  Pure. Bliss.

My infatuation with Kirk lasted for about 2 years but never culminated into being in love.  It wasn't love. 

I thank him for this opportunity of happiness, education, and elation!

This post was inspired by a scene
from the new brilliant Australian film:


Friday, December 29, 2023



Since my life has taken a 360 degree nosedive for nearly 2 years now (1st February), some days are just not fun.  When I have those days, which is pretty often, I will get lost in happy memories and just transport myself back to those times.  Sometimes music can help slide myself more into the escape.  Thanks to acting skills I leanred years ago (the method), I can bring all my senses and feel like I am actually there on the dancefloor at Studio One or Studio 54.

It's all in the mind, the head, the thoughts.  And I have control over that, thanks to years of education and psychotherapy.  

Hopefully my life will pick back up and I'll be breezing onward,,,,



I find as a I age, people get weirder and weirder -- and/or -- my na├»ve eyes open more and I see reality, which many times is NOT PRETTY.

I'm so disappointed and hurt by some people that used to be in my life. Wow.  

Hence, I am now President of (I Love Lucy's) "Friends of The Friendless"  -- I have no one in my life.   Trying to make new acquaintances and friends seems to be much harder for me now as I get older.  I've never had this problem EVER in my life before.  People were always around.

Maybe it's just my fucked-up-ness,

though......I don't think so.

Thursday, December 28, 2023



Being Depressed......